Month: August 2011

another term begins…

Tomorrow I get back to work in earnest. On-line classes become available to my students, so while technically, students start attending their classes on Monday, I have to be ready to go tomorrow for the few enthusiastic ones who have been waiting for their on-line classes to go live.

Nerds.

I don’t blame them. I was that nerdy student who sat in my room the night before classes started, caressing my school supplies, sharpening pencils, labeling notebooks. I know, it was a giant nerdfest for me. Don’t judge.

It’s not that much different on the other side of the desk. I still get a little utz in my stomach — part nervousness, part anticipation. The start of a new term, the start of a new class is full of all the hope and wonder of new beginnings. A little bit of the unknown mixed with the desire to do things right this time. To really get the most out of the term, or experience, or whatever.

It’s one more chance to get it right.

My school supplies are easy these days. A red pen is all I need. In most classes, I don’t even need that — we’ve gone practically paperless.

I’ll walk into my first class with a smile and a plastic pen that lets me magically make images appear on a board. A click, a swipe, a tap here and there and I’ll open up an entire universe to students who’ve never ventured beyond the natural boundaries of their neighborhoods.

I’ll introduce them to art and literature and history that will confuse them, inspire them, anger them, and, if I’m doing it right, move them and make them think.

I don’t take this responsibility lightly. Some days I get angry, and other days I feel like phoning it in. But most days I get up ready to face the challenge with enthusiasm and joy.

Part of my job is to inspire and motivate my students. I recognize that I am a source of many things for them — sometimes the content of the class is not as important as how I deliver it. It’s a crazy responsibility  — forming minds. Too many times I feel that I am not up to it — what if I get it wrong? What if I fail? What if I unintentionally hurt someone –squash dreams, crush hopes.

I don’t dwell on these thoughts too much or I wouldn’t be able to do my job. They are not paralyzing — just simmering under the surface. Let’s say that these thoughts keep me honest. I am aware of the power I have in the classroom. Power for good if I harness it properly.

That’s why I found Pope Benedict XVI’s address to university professors so inspiring. He acknowledges a great truth that drives what governing bodies tell me I must do:

At times one has the idea that the mission of a university professor nowadays is exclusively that of forming competent and efficient professionals capable of satisfying the demand for labor at any given time. One also hears it said that the only thing that matters at the present moment is pure technical ability.

That can’t be all I do, for I would fall short … way short of the potential for teaching the whole person. Otherwise, I might as well be training pets to do tricks.

In truth, the University has always been, and is always called to be, the “house” where one seeks the truth proper to the human person. Consequently it was not by accident that the Church promoted the universities, for Christian faith speaks to us of Christ as the Word through whom all things were made (cf. Jn 1:3) and of men and women as made in the image and likeness of God.

I don’t teach in a Catholic university. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to face a different kind of student than the demographic I serve. Most days I consider it a very special mission … they deserve no less than what I would offer elsewhere. It becomes an unexpected lesson in dignity and respect for the human person. Although I work in a very secular setting, I cannot divorce my faith from who I am and how I teach, and ultimately what I teach, if not explicitly, then certainly implicitly:

…we realize that we are a link in that chain of men and women committed to teaching the faith and making it credible to human reason. And we do this not simply by our teaching, but by the way we live our faith and embody it, just as the Word took flesh and dwelt among us.

 

Love or Money?

That question threw me a little at lunch.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that technically, we were out discussing business, and had, in fact, been discussing some rather technical things.

Or maybe it threw me because my relationship with my companion is in that early period where a friendship is starting to blossom but it’s not getting too personal, and perhaps this is too intimate a question.

I don’t think so….I think what threw me is that I answered love immediately, without thinking about it or even trying to formulate an explanation. It’s plain and simple. Love wins every time.

My friend was surprised. I think she was expecting me to dance around the question a bit, but my response was so immediate and uttered with such conviction that we both just sat looking at each other until she asked for clarification.

I didn’t think it needed clarification, but she seemed intent on wanting to have the conversation, and posed a follow up question about the need for money to take care of loved ones. Ah, well, yes, that’s a necessity, but not really the same as the first question, now is it?

I discovered that her question had less to do with priorities in a hypothetical discussion and more to do with figuring out how to balance our physical needs (and, yes, our desires) to make things good for those we love…whatever that good is, whether it is a nutritious meal or clothes or some spontaneous or frivolous expense to bring a moment of joy.

We don’t need a lot of money for that, but it sure helps.

Our conversation didn’t change my response. And frankly, I never got the sense that she thought money was more important. In fact, it broadened my understanding of it because of something else she said in the course of our conversation. She recognized that there wasn’t going to be a nice neat answer to her question, but that she found a great sense of relief in knowing that I didn’t have any answers either.

Ha. Wait a minute….

If you know me, you know I have plenty of questions and generally, few answers, so I can’t say I was offended, but she was onto something. Something I think I know quite naturally because of my faith and upbringing and that she was appreciating in the moment: namely, that we are social creatures and we need each other, not just for the obvious tribal needs such as protection or hunting or whatever some dead anthropologists said, but because we belong in community.

She took comfort in knowing she wasn’t alone in her fears. None of us should feel that way, but I know we sometimes do, at least I do. I was wracking my brain for some appropriately well-known scripture commonly quoted in the Bible Belt, but I kept coming back to Church teachings on community and our interdependence as members of the human family. If I’d had the Catechism of the Catholic Church in my car I would have pulled it out to quote directly from it (um…yes, I’m sure there’s an app for that). Still, I’m fairly certain I got the gist of it okay. She seemed content.

And I’m certain the message was meant as much for me, as it was for her.

 

well…I’m back

I had a delightful time with my family … too brief … too brief.

You may be interested to know that a number of things have been going on:

  • a whirlwind trip to the beach
  • a bible conference
  • a visit with a good friend
  • a visit with some more good friends
  • a visit with a bunch of good friends
  • a visit with all three kiddos at one time!
  • a rotting wood deck was removed
  • a lovely patio was installed
  • a mountain was climbed — twice
  • much wine was consumed
  • a car was shot up with a 9mm pistol
  • o_O
  • yeah, you read that right
  • more wine was consumed
  • rooms were painted
  • rosaries were prayed
  • a car was purchased
  • poems were written

 

guilty pleasures implies “guilt”

With that in mind, I submit some not-guilty pleasures, in no particular order…

  • the beach.
  • coffee. with sugar. without. with cream. without. de-caff is anathema.
  • spontaneous kisses. are there any other kind?
  • warm, fluffy, down comforters.
  • silly sox.
  • Coke with crushed ice on a hot day.
  • pizza. with banana peppers. and a little vino.
  • fresh baked bread still hot from the oven.
  • silence.
  • soft breezes that leave me wanting more.

some poems I found

I found this poem, circa 1986, maybe 1987. Probably in February because there was still snow on the ground on that morning. There was the promise of spring flowers, either on the ground or in my heart…

I always liked the fortress best.
You can see the town from the guard’s post.
Hills. Birds. Lots of farmers’ fields
and snow — or flowers,
depending on the time of year.

We’d listen to the silence.
Outdoors — at the top of the hill.
And I’d slip to the edge with my lover
to dream and be safe
all the time,
not just when we’d kiss.

Then I found this one, and well, it’s about the moonlight reflecting on a lake and it made me smile in light of a recent conversation with a friend. I think I wrote an awful lot about the moon….

Midnight’s silver glow
lends a gentle calm to the lake.

The water’s surface,
already smooth as an oil slick,
slippery and impervious in the silence,
breaks randomly
as some fish or other occupant
creates ripples in the glass
while coursing through
its night-habits.

The calm returns slowly, rhythmically,
until it is once more a mirror for the moon.

just…thinking

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

 

~Philippians 4:8

My 5 Favorite Books

It’s been a while since I update here, and I promise to fill you in on my adventures, from going to a Bible conference, to wanting to throw up on top of Stone Mountain, to a little rescue mission involving some Alabama state troopers and a 9mm pistol wreaking some damage on one of our cars. Yeah. It’s been an adventure off-line.

So when I saw my friend Ariadna do a simple, but thought-provoking post about her favorite books, I thought…hey, I can do that. In fact, I’ve done it before, but I don’t feel like looking for the list. This one is shorter, anyway.

Here we go, my faves today:

1. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry — Such a beautiful little book about friendship and other deep things. Is there anything more wonderful than the unconditional love of a true friend? I’m blessed to have that.

2. Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel (actually, the whole Earth’s Children series) — These books captured my imagination. When I was a kid I was fascinated by ancient history. I couldn’t get enough of history and anthropology books, and then I just kind of stopped. I discovered this series when I first moved to Germany and John would be sent into the field for weeks at a time. Books kept me company, and Ayla’s adventures became my own.

3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling (again, the whole series) — Do I really have to explain myself here? No. I don’t think so 🙂

4. Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh — I  was Harriet. I even carried around a composition notebook with all my observations. I managed not to let it fall into enemy hands. Eventually, I became editor of the yearbook in 8th grade, and later, I wrote for an underground magazine in high school.

5. The Holy Bible — This is a little out of my league at the moment, but I’ve just embarked on a little exercise to push me a little harder in this area, so, yeah, I’m gonna be doing a little bit of studying in the next months.