Do the Laundry, the other RPG

Having read about the sci-fi series about a clean-up detail, I’ve decided to create my own RPG game about doing the laundry.

If any game developers are interested, go ahead and contact me — I’m sure we can make a deal.

Here’s the premise: harried wife and mother has all kinds of  adventures in the cyber world, from podsquatting, to blogging, to actually working on a book. All of these activities, her joie d’vivre if you will, are thwarted by an ever growing pile of laundry that must be tackled on a daily basis.

The pile seems to replicate itself constantly. Just as the last vestiges of towels are taken care of, a new pile of jeans and dirty socks emerge to once again interrupt the player’s mission of writing The Great American Novel (with apologies to Philip Roth).

Players choose avatars that look like them (if they are harried moms, frumpy moms, or sexy moms with initials I won’t use here, but if you know what I’m talking about–let it go)) or can choose other avatars, such as snarky husbands (this species also has an avatar in a French maid’s outfit), unruly children, or mud-tracking pets.

The object of the game is to finish a 300-page novel before you die, while dodging dropped internet connections, cooking dinner, transporting children all over town in a mini-van in need of an oil-change, and of course, the never-ending pile of laundry.

Players level up as they complete a page of the book. Along the way they can collect bonus points for not burning dinner, remembering to pick up a child before the police call child services, and managing, of course, to do laundry.

Power pellets and health points can be picked up by consuming cups of coffee. Extra experience can be gained when coffee consumption leads to delirium.

There are ribbons for achievements in washing hot, cold, and warm cycles, drying, folding, and bonus levels for putting away laundry.

There are completion sets for matching socks in all colors and sizes.

Only serious investors need apply.  All others, particularly members of the immediate family, will be put to work on the spot.

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