worthy of mockery

so, I’m an idiot…

Here’s how the conversation at dinner went…

John: There’s a prickly pear in the refrigerator, wanna try it?

Bego: Sure.

John: Okay, listen to me before you do anything. Don’t touch the fruit. Use a fork or something to pick it up.

Bego: Okay. [and proceeds to pick it up with her bare hand]

John: I told you not to touch the fruit!

Bego: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

*For those of you interested in home remedies, you can use a disposable razor to shave the offending spines from a prickly pear THAT YOU HAVE EMBEDDED IN YOUR HAND! They are invisible and painful. Ouch. Did I say I’m an idiot?

he’s messing with us

From the guy whose men’s cologne I couldn’t get enough of, we get this…

and this…

and this…

It seems like Pierre Cardin has reached that period in his life and career…

where he can do anything he pleases, and the lemmings will “ooooooh” and “aaaaaaah.”

Well why the hell not? It’s the stupid lemmings posting the pictures.  😉

Here’s what I think…

That is not traffic

insanity...
insanity...

It is the long and winding road (not from the Beatles) that leads to the gas station in the distance.

This is the craziest, most panic-stricken city I’ve ever lived in. What is wrong with folks who will line up for hours for gas? Poor planning? Fear? Lack of common sense?

Look, there’s evidently not a shortage because the tankers keep coming in and refilling the stations, so it must be the anxiety that is causing people to fill up when they don’t need it, or when they’re down a quarter of a tank.

I’ve got an obnoxious commute, and pass a bunch of stations on the way to work. If one doesn’t have gas in the morning, it usually has gas in the afternoon. And that’s just inside the perimeter, and then just outside it. I’ll bet the prices would go down if people laid off the crazy behavior.

How I love to ruffle feathers!

So I posted the body of an email forward below. Understand that I have no regard for email forwards and spend endless hours debunking the ridiculous claims found in them. This one was an entertaining pipe dream, similar to when the lottery gets up $285 million and I sit around figuring out how I am going to distribute the millions to my family and friends (hmmmm, are YOU on my list?).

Anyway, I love comment love (what blogger doesn’t) but it seems that a few people either a) took this seriously, or worse, b) think that I took it seriously. Take a moment to check out that I posted it under the category “fun” as in, I think this would be fun, but I know it’s not real.

Now please, get a sense of humor.

yet another meme…

Got this one from Zina. Or at least, I finally got an explanation from Zina for what was going on at Plurk last night when I momentarily logged on and found a bunch of, well, unusual pictures.

Here are the rules:

1. Take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair – just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with the picture.

And here’s the picture:

that first cup in the morning...the rules don't say I can't come back later and delete this post!
that first cup in the morning...

from the strange happy world of the hopelessly stupid

Sometimes I think critical thinking is a curse.

If I could while away the hours sitting in an airport watching people, I’d be a very happy camper. The human condition has more natural drama than any of the fictionalized goofiness that passes for entertainment on TV. When the behavior is pathetically stupid, it introduces a whole new level of entertainment for me, but inevitably, I am left feeling frustrated and not a little bit annoyed.

The truth is, I hate stupidity with a passion. It’s not very Christian, I know. It’s not very compassionate, or empathetic, or anything else that would be a nice thing to say. No. It’s a downright ugly part of my personality. I admit it, and have no immediate plans to change it.

Sadly, I don’t need to go to the airport to see astounding displays of stupidity. I don’t even have to go down the street to the community Waffle House. I just need to take a peek outside my door every once in a while.

I just saw someone go up to a locked office with the lights out and no sign of anyone inside, and proceed to knock loudly and repeatedly. And then stand there and look inside (the 10 x 12 box) and knock again. As if the occupant had anywhere to hide.

Quid?

I won a lottery that I didn’t even enter!

Check out this lame scam complete with disclaimer at the end. My personal favorite part of it? The scammer “works” for Yahoo and uses a gmail account:

Yahoo Awards Center
          124 Stockport Road, Longsight, Manchester M60 2DB – United  Kingdom
   
This is to inform you that you have won a prize money of Eight Hundred, Twenty Thousand Great Britain Pounds (Ј820,000,00.) for the month of August/ September, 2008 Prize  promotion which is organized by YAHOO AWARDS  & WINDOWS LIVE.

YAHOO collects all the email addresses of the people that are active online, among the millions that subscribed to Yahoo and Hotmail and few from other e-mail providers. Six people are selected monthly to benefit from this promotion and you are one of the Selected Winners.

                PAYMENT OF PRIZE AND CLAIM

Winners shall be paid in accordance with his/her Settlement Centre. Yahoo Prize Award must be claimed no later than 15 days from date of Draw Notification. Any prize not claimed within this period will be forfeited.

Stated below are your identification numbers:

BATCH NUMBER:          MFI/06/APA-43658
REFERENCE NUMBER:  2008234522
PIN:                              1206

These numbers fall within the London Location file, you are requested to contact our fiduciary agent in London and send your winning identification numbers to him;

Below you will find a Documentation Form, requesting you’re required Particulars.

        YAHOO ONLINE DOCUMENTATION FORM

FULL NAMES:__________________________________

ADDRESS: _________________________________________________

CITY:_________________________

STATE:__________________________________ ZIP: _____________________

PHONE:/FAX__________________________________

COUNTRY________________________________

SEX:_______________

AGE:__________________

MARITAL STATUS: _________________

OCCUPATION: ________________________

E-MAIL ADDRESS: _____________________________

NATIONALITY_________________________

You are required to fill and submit the above particulars to our Overseas Claims/United Kingdom Payment Unit with the below email address.

Overseas Claims/Exchange Online Payment Unit 

Lottery Fiduciary Agents:
Dr. Tony Don  (Foreign Service Manager
Overseas Subscribers Agent
62 Islip Road Oxford, London OX2 7SP
United Kingdom
Tel: + 44 702 406 2858

Email:  info.overseasclaim@gmail.com

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

At your disposal, I remain.

                              Yours in service,
                  
  Dr. (Mrs.) Monica Martin
—————————————————–
WARNING!
Do not tell people about your Prize Award until your money is successfully handed over to you to avoid disqualification that may arise from double claim.

You may also receive similar e-mails from people portraying to be other Organizations or Yahoo Inc. This is solely to collect your personal information from you and lay claim over your winning. In event that you receive any e-mail similar to the notification letter that was sent to you, kindly delete notify us and give no further correspondence to such person or body.

Yahoo shall not be held responsible for any loss of fund arising from the above mentioned!

United Nations comes through again…

What a bunch of weenies. Really. It must be such a responsibility to always be so full of oneself to declare how everyone should behave.

The hysterical climate change evangelists are now suggesting we stop eating meat to combat global warming.

I’m going to go pop a roast in the crock pot. Mmmm mmmm good!