Author: Maria Johnson

Hillary Clinton looks like she got goosed

Literally and figuratively. Ha!

Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton

She has the same psychotic look as Jennifer Wilbanks, better known as “the runaway bride.”

Jennifer Wilbanks
Jennifer Wilbanks

more olympics musings

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching the olympics right up until the point where I just flat out fall asleep. Consequently, I haven’t posted here very much because I have been otherwise engaged. But I’m back, and I hope to offer some insightful and irreverent thoughts about the olympics.

Let’s forget the politics, which are absolutely dirty and hideous. I mean, the 40 billion dollar budget came at whose expense? Communism = human rights violations, I don’t care what coat of paint you want to put on it.

I am far more interested in other details. For example, I was absolutely fascinated by the jewelry on display. The Cuban hurdles guy who was phenomenal, also sported a crucifix that looked like a pectoral cross, only on a short (and equally thick) chain. Let me just say that no Cuban worth his weight in salt would wear anything less that 18k. Where did the guy get the money for the crucific? Oh, wait, see my comment above. clearly, some Cuabns are more equal than others in their access of a healthy diet and jewelry. There’s also the obvious point that Cuba is an atheist state. think about that for a minute.

While I’m on the subject of crosses (I couldn’t spell the plural of crucifix), did anyone notice how many athletes crossed themselves? Still a trend to thank God publicly? Hmm. Did you notice that they also didn’t quite get it right, either? Just me, being snarky.

On to more jewelry. I’ve played sports competitively. We were never allowed to wear jewelry. It could hurt us or other athletes. The last thing I ever wanted was to get slammed on the side of the head and have an earring post driven through my skull, so to see athletes in contacts sports wearing earrings is a bit….well, stupid. However, I think that the grand prize for weirdness in sporting articles of jewelry goes to Kerri Walsh of the women’s beach vollyball. She wore a pretty big watch.

Huh? First she wears Spidey’s alien black suit on her shoulder, then she plays volleyball with a watch. I never played the sport competitvely, but I bump and dig fairly well and I honestly see that as a giant liability.

Whatever.

does anyone else get the impression that the mayor of London is a slob?

I know, I’m probably pissing off my British (or at least those of you from London) readers, but the guy really just was a mess at the closing ceremonies.

C’mon, forget that he didn’t button his jacket, or that his shirt was coming untucked, or even that his hair was mussed. His demeanor on the stage was more like frat boy given the honor of tapping the keg, not representing a city and nation in a symbolic gesture of “passing the baton” (perhaps I shouldn’t use that metaphor — it seems to have been dropped a couple of times already).

Google continues to delight me with their pictures

Few people know that I lettered in badminton in high school. Fewer still acknowledge that I was pretty good.

HA!  I don’t particularly have a sordid past, but it is full of surprises.

12 of 12 for August 2008

Today I had one of those days where all my energy went into teaching. We started a literature unit, and I use this book by Dr. Seuss (published posthumously — check it out — the artwork is very different) to introduce my students to concepts like mood and tone. And then it hit me that I could do the same here, and show it to them later. Hmmm. So, with apologies to Chad Darnell, who created 12 of 12 (go read the rules and see how I broke every single one), here’s a little different take on the concept.

Like every other morning, my day started pretty colorless. I mean, there’s a certain cruelty to having the bright lights turned on in the pre-dawn hours, but hey, it gets me up and in search of the coffee.

Not too long after that I was on the road and had to stop for gas. I was pretty much seeing red at that point because in spite of all that blustering about oil prices going down, I still paid an obscene amount of money to fill my tank.

And school has started around here, so I had to stop for every blasted Cheese Wagon on the way to work. You’d yellow would have a brighter, happier association, but in this case it is just yellow for caution lights.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Atlanta without 8 billion contruction, reconstruction, and repair jobs on the road. I’ve never played that video game where you get points for killing people, but I’m sure the Atlanta version gives bonus points for knocking out the flag men. In a related vent, there’s a woman suing the state for not posting signs that say “flag person”. really — I’m all about gender equity and every other kind of equity, but we really need to pick our battles, folks.

Finally at work. I’m blue because it is calming and fluid, not blue because I am sad. I’m channeling the ocean. I’m feeling at one with the universe. Bla bla bla. I just happen to like blue and it makes me happy.

Purple is a little like blue, only with a little bit of anxiety, and that’s what I did to my students today by introducing a pretty advanced lesson. Ha! Joke’s on them.

Still, I think everyone was feeling a little green with nausea, but I’m hoping they will get over it soon.

I had lunch with “the girls” and so pink seemed to be the color of the day.

The rest of the day was spent in earthy-type activities…dealing with regular people, getting regular (read: boring) stuff taken care of.

The ride home, surprisingly, was smooth sailing. It’s not like I hit every green light, but a big surprise in metro ATL to make it home with no accidents or road closings. Wow!

When I got home and saw the crappola pics that I took, I got deflated and lost all animation and color, but then I got my Seuss-y idea!

be careful what you poke fun of

I kind of ended up poking myself in the eye! Here’s this week’s Monday Musings. Start it here, but jump on over to Rosary Army for the rest of it.

Every morning on my drive to work I get caught at the red light at a very busy intersection. It’s one of those lights that seem to be out of whack with the rest of the grid, so I feel as if an eternity passes before it changes. Forgive my hyperbole, but when I’m trying to get to work on time, and I have coffee on the brain, it does seem like a very long time.

In spite of the gripe-y nature of my observation, though, the truth is that the corner generally offers some kind of local flavor for entertainment. For example, last year, there was a company that would go to homes and buy junk. For cash! I might have invited them over to relieve me of the mess in the basement, but their advertising was suspect. Ok, it was down right weird. Inexplicably, they placed their “junk movers” on each corner of the intersection dressed in royal blue Mario Brothers type work clothes — only, all of it, including an Afro-wig, was royal blue. They looked like that Blue Men troupe. Weird!

Of course, during election times there is a motley crew of folks waving and asking the commuters to honk for their candidates, and there is the random hawker, selling anything from home-made meat pies to kitschy stuff bought from some mail order import company. You get the idea — the corner is always full of surprises.

Last week my senses were assaulted by a woman dressed somewhat like a prairie settler from a hundred years ago, but she was in all white, including some Jed Clampett-looking boots in white, and she was verbally assaulting the drivers as they zoomed past. I figured that I had hit paydirt that morning — here was my entertainment, and I was lamenting that the light would change too quickly and I wouldn’t hear what she was yelling at us.

I got up pretty close and lowered the window, and right about when I heard “The Lord our God will smite you!” I caught sight of the bible that she gripped in her hand. She was waving it around and wildly gesticulating, and I thought to myself, oh brother, it’s just one of those bible-thumping weirdos.    [more…]