epic fail

today’s stupid brought to you by Sesame Street?

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I’m probably a little late to this dance, but I just heard that a teacher is suing her school system because she’s afraid of the children.

Let that sink in for a minute….

Here’s the New York Times article, but I’ll give you a little blurb:

A former teacher is suing the Cincinnati school district, saying she was discriminated against because of her rare phobia: a fear of young children.

You know what? I’m afraid of heights. One of my kids is afraid of spiders. I don’t work as a window washer. My kid isn’t an exterminator. Know what I mean?

Who becomes a teacher with a fear of children? C’mon! Enough already. Grow up and admit you don’t like middle schoolers (and really, who does when they are in a pack?). Own up to the fact that at age 60, you don’t want to deal with thirteen year olds after a comfortable career with older kids, and you wish to retire because you don’t want to do your job anymore. Nobody is going to judge. Much.

Meanwhile, can I get workman’s comp for excessive exposure to comma splices and pronoun antecedent agreement errors?

no power…kinda returns the power to us, don’t it?

No technologies (how many can you count in this picture?) except my trusty pen and a scrap or two of paper.

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So of course, we did what any normal people would do. We played dominoes by candlelight.

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this about sums it up

What’s really hilarious is how absolutely fitting Hercules’ words are. I’m looking for an opportunity to do more with my life. I just somehow can’t bring myself to do it in the setting I thought I had found. Let’s just say, neo-liberalist marxism and feminism are not my world.

Is Best Buy’s tacky Santa Ad worth a blog rant?

 

Maybe a small rant. Mostly because I already detest Best Buy and really have no interest in purchasing their over-priced electronics. I’m also pretty done with the poor customer service and the general obnoxiousness of Christmas shopping. To wit, the absurdity of the Black Friday insanity. Disgusting displays of man’s inhumanity to man.

It started when we stopped wishing each other Merry Christmas.

I’m only half-serious about that statement. The serious half wants to know…when did this happen? Look, I’m not even going to make this about religion.  Christ has always been in my Christmas, although I admit there were sad years when he wasn’t getting the attention he deserved.

But this rant is about Santa…we’ve already effectively taken Christ out of Christmas. In fact, we’ve taken God out of just about everything. Marriage. School. Thanksgiving. Our currency.

Why wouldn’t a snarky ad campaign dissing Santa be game?

There’s a lot to criticize. There’s the whole treatment of Santa, for one. As a cultural icon, he’s representative of a number of virtues. We could get into the whole origins story with St. Nicholas, but let’s keep it simple. Santa, he of the reindeer and North Pole and friendly elves. He’s a good guy. He works tirelessly to spread joy.

And those good guys… They get picked on. Discredited. Ridiculed. Crucified. (oops. I forgot I was keeping this about Santa)

It’s open season in our culture to laugh at and ridicule the very values that have made this society great. It’s shameful, especially when it happens from the top, down. Did you happen to see the mockery our president made of the annual turkey pardon on Thanksgiving? Oh sure, it was edgy and funny. It’s only a turkey. Or is it?

Here’s the thing. I really don’t care about Santa. Not really. And I don’t care about a turkey getting pardoned or not. But I do care about the bigger picture, whether it’s a myth about goodness and generosity or a symbol of the nation. When both of those can come under fire, we’re doing it wrong as a culture.

 

today’s demoralizing exchange…

brought to me by the sweet young thing at the registrar’s office at my alma mater who kindly, patiently, and ever so condescendingly walked me through getting an ID and password for the newfangled on-line transcript request system only to discover that I AM TOO OLD TO USE THIS SYSTEM BECAUSE THE ELECTRONIC RECORDS DON’T GO BACK TO ANCIENT TIMES.

Great.

Cuz I’m feeling awfully young and spry right about now.

Excuse me while I go sharpen my quill and squeeze some berries so I can scribble my request on this here parchment paper…

UPDATE: in which I eat stale water crackers

I am trapped at my parents’ house, with no food, no car, and nobody to drink with (which would make everything all right).

John is off having a great time being interviewed (not for a job — for his frat) and doing exciting things. He looked so pretty in his suit when he left this morning, excited to be stopping at a bakery to pick up the traditional Miami breakfast on the go: cafe con leche and a pastelito.

AND IT DIDN’T REGISTER at the time that I was not going to be able to do the same.

No cafe con leche for me. No pastelito for me. It’s almost one o’clock and there is no sign of him. This is seriously impacting by joy quotient for the day. There is, however, the promise of a spectacular steak dinner. Later.

Right now, I am rummaging through the old folks’ pantry, feeling a little sad that they eat the kind of colossally boring stuff I am finding. Like Fat Free Genuine Jamaican Water Crackers.

I need a mojito.