Author: Maria Johnson

Happy Halloween

Whether you like the traditional Candy Corn, Whoppers malt balls (if you know what’s good) or those silly Red Twizzlers, I hope you get what you like.

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so appropriate the day before Halloween

…mostly because right about now I am outraged by both the Santa displays in the stores…and the PC Police making sure that I proceed with enthusiasm to provide plenty of Winter Soltice merryment while carefully keeping Jesus out of it.

09_10_29_nativitySorry guys, I’m busy planning first for Thanksgiving, then Advent. Christmas is still quite a ways away, thankyouverymuch. Plus, I really need to pick up some candy for the little cutie pies who will come ringing my doorbell tomorrow in the hopes that we are the cool house with the chocolate candies. Those little munchins don’t have a political or religious agenda, and aren’t going to be dogmatic. They just want the goods, and I’m in the mood to deliver. With chocolate. 🙂

So, Fr. Z’s brilliant blog post about the minimalist Nativity scene cracked me up. Actually, it was the first comment, which I’ll post here, that truly tickled me, but I demand that you follow this link over to read the whole thing.

The fact that the grain on the Joseph-stick is more dense is clearly a sign of the patriarchal hermeneutic of the individual who put this together; the inclusion of wise men, while failing to include the wise women who were certainly there is patently sexist; putting Mary and Joseph on either side of the Jesus-stick is pure, unadulterated heteronormativity gone amok; lastly, whoever assembled the display, by putting the human person-sticks upright, while laying the animal-person sticks horizontally is displaying an unacceptable speciesist tendency. For shame! I will have none of this backwards-thinking, close mindedness under my eco-friendly, live, midwinter holiday tree!

more pics…this time post flooding

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If you are familiar with That Catholic Show you might recognize one of those pictures from Black Shoals Park, where the water episode was filmed. There was a severe drought at the time of that filming, so you probably won’t actually recognize this at all, but I assure you it’s the same place. We took these pictures from the covered bridge, and to our amazement and delight, a sailboat blew into the scene! In all the years we’ve been going to that bridge I’ve never seen the water deep enough to support a boat that wasn’t built for the shallow waters, let alone a sailboat.

squatting on a new podcast!

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I hope you check it out. Capt. Jeff from Catholic Pilot and Mac Barron from Catholic in a Small Town are going to be co-hosting a new podcast about…um…everything…and nothing…and stuff. Just some friends chatting and enjoying some conversation. Give it a listen. I think you’ll like it. And Steve Nelson from On the U and Secrets of FlashForward, plus the incomparable Paul Camarata of The SaintCast join the mix this week. Oh, and I squat in the Skype Studio, too.

Listen here.

Top 10 things that really annoy me

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Top 10 things that really annoy me:

10. selfish people who act like they are the only ones in the universe.
9. clueless people who are totally unaware that there are other people in the universe.
8. annoying people who behave like they are the only ones in the universe.
7. dumb people who can’t drive and are unaware of their surroundings.
6. selfish people in expensive vehicles who get in everyone’s way.
5. idiotic people who block traffic.
4. self-absorbed people who have no accountability for their actions.
3. foolish people who think they don’t have to follow the rules.
2. self-centered people who can’t be bothered by others’ needs.

and my personal favorite:
1. self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish cretins who have such a sense of entitlement that they can actually park their car in a road and not move even though traffic is lined up behind them, and do this with a clear conscience and not at all be bothered by the angry mob gathering behind them. if I were hindu, I
would want to come back as one of those people just to experience the elation of having such a moment of grandiose self-absorption. on second thought, if I were hindu I wouldn’t come back as that asshat, because the whole concept of reincarnation would take care of itself. that’s why I think chihuahuas are stupid little creatures.

Go ahead and flame me for insulting chihuahuas. for the record, I feel better now.

Rant! and a funny video.

My sister, Christi, knows that I am in a perpetual snit about a guy who lives along a rural-ish road that we take in and out of our area. The road is not at all lit at night, and even during the day can pose some dangers because it is full of hills and curves. Once upon a time, one would have called it a country road, but the incredible growth in our county has really increased the amount of traffic that moves through there. As recently as 10 years ago, one random car moving in one direction was typical. Today, during peak hours in the morning, lunch and early evening, there is traffic moving in both directions, and it’s moving at a clip.

Cue Wheelchair Man. I’m not going to begrudge his mobility, or his penchant for 12 packs of BudLight. I think it’s wonderful that he has an independent spirit, and frankly, admire that he ventures out into the world on his own when he wants to get out of the house or go for a beer run at the convenience store a mile down the windy road and across the street from a major road.

But see, that’s where I begin to have a problem: the 12 pack of beer that sits on his lap, or more often than not, he has consumed prior to getting on the road. I already think that sober (and not necessarily sane) he is a menace to drivers. There are no sidewalks in this area. One side of the road has houses, with run-off ditches and a very soft shoulder. The other side of the road is a ditch, and then woods. There is no real safe way for this guy to move, especially when it has rained (which never deters him). On the one hand, I am always fearful that he will take a tumble in front of me and I’ll hit him. On the other hand, I am fearful that he will somehow take a tumble and cause a car to veer and hit on-coming traffic. I would not be surprised to see him lying in a ditch one day.

Compound this with the fact that he does appear to be inebriated. I’ve seen him doing donuts in the middle of the ride, riding up and down the center stripe, and once, he decided it was going to be appropriate for him to dump used cooking oil across the street into someone else’s property. Yeah. That’s when I lost any sense of respect for him. He acts as if he is immune to any rules. And that pisses me off.

I wish I could issue him a citizen’s citation for Driving a Wheelchair While Intoxicated DWWI!